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Phil Elwood’s memoir, All the Worst Humans: How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons, and Politicians influences every piece of “news” I consume. Elwood goes scorched earth showcasing the underbelly of public relations, and the book is awesome. The book came out in June, and I cannot believe the recency and depth/dirt of stories included.

Elwood balances heavy and sad global topics with humor and wild stories about his wide-ranging roles as a PR operative. In an election year, I appreciated the behind-the-scenes look into news stories, reputation management, and DC culture. The book makes me question everything I see in the news, and I think it provides interesting context for the role PR firms play in a 24/7 news cycle. Elwood weaves his own struggle/reckoning with his work throughout the book, and I am curious how his book impacts his career and the industry long term. 

Quotes

“As CNN broadcasts my message to millions of Americans, I realize my job isn’t to manipulate public opinion. My job is to get gatekeepers like CNN to do it for me. Once you have ink, your story becomes real. A conversation starts that didn’t exist moments before, a conversation nobody would think to have if you hadn’t started it. The public begins to accept something you created out of nothing.”

“PR firms employ two types of people: bureaucrats and operatives. Bureaucrats are the accountants. The conference call leaders. The digital paper pushers. Operatives infect newsrooms. Call reporters. Do whatever it takes to get ink. I have always been and will always be an operative. Put it on my tombstone. Ninety percent of mega firms don’t know what to do with an operative. An operative at a mega firm is like a Navy SEAL working at the post office.”

“Once you create one moment out of nothing, you can create more. You have started a fire.”

“Every client, large and small, faces an inflection point. Some you create. Some are created for you. An inflection point usually comes after your client has shit the bed. Personally, I consider every crisis a golden opportunity. If my client lights their house on fire, you can be damn sure I’ll get the press to blame outdated fire codes. I tell clients, “Don’t be a hero. Always work to find a better villain.”

“The 2010 World Cup vote will be largely regarded as the most corrupt in the history of soccer.The Department of Justice will go on to conduct a multiyear investigation and indict three FIFA officials who received cash to vote for Qatar. 

The Qatar monarchy has been legitimatized in the eyes of the world. As many as 1.5 billion people will watch the 2022 World Cup final. When, in 2023, Qatar’s sovereign wealth fund buys a stake in the ownership group of the NBA’s Washington Wizards and the NHL’s Capitals, nobody bats an eye. Sportswashing works.”

“Given my high school C average, Georgetown should be off the table, too. But it turns out Levin has considerable influence with the university. One letter from the senator and I’m accepted as a transfer student. I realize this is how the world works, or at least how this world does. It is not a meritocracy.”